Please, don't be scared off by the title of this post!
If you're anything like me, you
dreaded hearing the words "goal setting" at school every year. Inevitably, you'd always have at least one teacher that insisted on having all the students set goals for themselves at the beginning of the school year. Even though I knew there were things I wanted to learn, I could never think of anything useful to write down. Even if I did manage to get a few goals on paper, I just rolled my eyes, thinking I'd totally forget what I'd written in a few weeks anyway.
You might find yourself in a similar predicament now. I know I did. About a year ago, I looked around, and I realized...
1) I absolutely hated my job,
2) I was suffering stress-related health issues,
3) I was about 45 pounds heavier than I should have been,
4) my room looked like a hurricane had hit it,
5) I had surrounded myself with people who were constantly taking advantage of me, and
6) I was seriously, terribly,
miserably unhappy.
Well, I decided I needed to DO something about it. I had thought of doing something about it before, but I never got around to it because I always let my crazy, over-analyzing brain get the best of me.
"I'm so overwhelmed; I don't even know where I should start."
"I could do this, but it's just going to make me more tired, which will make me more unhappy."
"Do I really want to spend what little free time I have cleaning?"
Those are just a
few examples of what my brain would do to sabotage me. I'm sure your brain comes up with all sorts of similar schemes. All I can say is...
DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN RIGHT NOW.
Seriously. Just do something. ANYTHING.
When I say that, I don't mean to just choose one thing, do something small that's related to accomplishing it, and pat yourself on the back for trying to get it done and starting to move in the right direction. Even if you keep doing those small steps and finally accomplish that one thing, by the time you get it done, about six more things will have piled up!
You can't tackle a large goal that takes sustained effort over a period of time because you haven't yet developed the proper habits and mindset to actually stick to your plans.
So, when I say "do something," you need to pick something that you have complete control over and that you can start and finish all at once. It can be very small, though. If, like I did, you have a crappy job that leaves you with very little energy or motivation at the end of the day, you can do something as small as just putting away that pile of laundry you've been avoiding all week or reading a chapter of that book you've been meaning to get to forever because you promised yourself you'd read more this year. However small or meaningless these tasks may seem,
completing them after avoiding them for so long will make you feel good.
It's really that simple. Once you complete one or two things, you'll be so happy that you got them done, that you'll want to keep doing more to recreate that feeling of accomplishment. It's like a high, and you will get addicted to it.
If that seems way too simple and abstract for you, try thinking about it another way. Think of the ultimate thing you want to accomplish. Say your goal is to be as happy as you possibly can be. Write that at the top of a paper. Then, below it, write the next largest goal you have, and so on. Work backwards until at the bottom of the list, you have the most basic goal you can think of. That last line should be your first step to achieving that ultimate goal.
I didn't actually write out a list, but a year ago, my list would have looked something like this:
BE HAPPY
Find and get a job I enjoy
Lose 45 pounds
Eat healthier
Exercise regularly
Stand up for myself more
Create and maintain a lifestyle blog
Read more often
Keep my room clean
Put away my laundry
So, the first thing I did was clean my room. In order to keep my room clean, it had to somehow get clean in the first place (and cleaning it involved putting away my laundry). It took me a full day to do it, but I got it done, and I felt WAY better. Something about your room being clean just sort of clears your mind. Plus, I had finally accomplished something, and it felt
good.
It was like the fog that had been clouding up my happiness was finally lifting. Sure, giving up one of my only days off to clean my room sucked, but the mixture of relief and happiness I felt at the end of that day when I opened my bedroom door and swept my eyes over my spotless sanctuary of a room made my sacrifice well worth it.
And
that feeling lasted. From that point on, when I got home from work and saw my clean room, it served as a reminder that I had one fewer thing weighing me down with stress, and that realization motivated me to keep checking things off my list because I wanted that feeling of relief to grow and last.
So, make that list, and make it pretty or cute or colorful or anything that catches your eye, and put it somewhere where you will see it EVERY DAY. Tape it to your mirror, frame it and put it on your wall, put an alarm on your phone for after work with the title of whatever goal you want to accomplish that day, etc. Whatever will remind you to do what you need to do and stick to your plan!
The top reason that people never achieve their goals is because they start off with something way too big, and when they don't immediately start seeing results, they give up. Undoubtedly, some of your goals will be very difficult to achieve and will require long periods of hard work, but once you've already accomplished so many of your smaller more manageable goals, you will have fewer things in your life weighing on your mind and stressing you out, and, consequently, you will have more time and energy to dedicate to achieving those larger goals. You will have also become addicted to the amazing feeling of being successful in accomplishing the things you want to accomplish.
